Keeping Their Peace: How Four Filipinas With High-Stress Jobs Cope

Stress.

They call it a killer, but somehow, it’s still part of our daily lives. When it gets out of hand, it can affect literally every organ in our bodies, including wreaking havoc on our mental and emotional state. But with all the demands of modern life, it’s impossible to avoid. That’s why nowadays, it’s no longer a question of how to avoid stress, but rather, a question of how to manage it.

We all have different lifestyles, daily agendas, and priorities. And we all have different ways of dealing with stress. Allure Philippines spoke with four women, each in a different role or industry, and asked them how they deal with stress in their own lives.

Olivia Camille Reyes, MD

Pediatric emergency physician 

Photo courtesy of subject

What’s a typical day at your job like?

I do both teaching and clinical work for the hospitals I work with. Days are somewhat atypical, but as far as typical goes, the day would start the night before, planning out my confirmed appointments or teaching schedule for the day. 

I typically wake up at 5:30 A.M., say my prayers for my day, stretch, meditate, and dress up. If it is a teaching day, I am out of the house by 7 A.M. with activities ending anywhere between 12 to 4 P.M.. I go home and rest for a bit, and go on call at the emergency department by 9 P.M. for my 12-hour shifts, which end at 9 A.M. on the next day. Each shift is a game of chance. Some days are a dream, well-paced with no life threatening cases. On other occasions, time on the floor can be very trying, with a deluge of sick consults over a short period of time, or worse, having very, very sick people with life-threatening conditions on the floor.

What additional responsibilities do you have outside of your job?

I dedicate most of my time outside work to family, but a big part of my life outside the hospital is teaching CPR as part of basic and advanced life support programs, which I try to do once a quarter.  Again, as part of my advocacy, I give lectures for different institutions once or twice on different pediatric emergency topics.

How do you spend your downtime?

 On off days, I mostly spend my time enjoying with family, eating out, or ordering in. I love to cook, especially on weekends. In between meals, I try to catch up on sleep, which can be very challenging to do during the day. I also spend a lot of time exercising and taking walks—preserving my mobility as well as my mental and physical fitness, which is tantamount to keeping this job.

What do you do—physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually—to cope with stress of any kind?

Prayer is always at the core. Dedicating the day to God and asking for grace and resilience for things that I cannot control gives me the right mindset with the unpredictable nature of my day. I also meditate daily, which sort of gives me the mental decluttering I need to be able to focus. I exercise twice to thrice a week (we have to practice what we preach), and do yoga once or twice depending on the amount of free time I have. 

Do you have any special hacks or techniques to cope with stress that you rely on?

Yoga, meditation, and exercise are mainstays. In addition, I employ the 3 to 6 rule for my daily list of tasks. I put the three most important deliverables on top. If I get them done easily, I go through a 3-item back-up list as well.

Kina Esparaz

Stay-at- home wife and homeschooling mom

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What’s a typical day for you?

I’m a stay-at-home wife and a homeschooling mom to five young children. I really thrive on structure and routine, which helps our days run smoothly.

We alternate between homeschooling days and sports days. I usually wake up at 6 A.M. to spend some quiet time in prayer and reading the Bible. After that, I connect with my husband before checking in on the kids—making sure they’ve brushed their teeth, gotten dressed, and are ready for breakfast and to start the day.

We usually get home in the afternoon and spend some time swimming or playing outdoors before winding down for dinner. Dinner is sacred in our home—it’s our intentional time to be present, connect deeply, and share stories as a family without distractions.

Evenings are mostly spent with my husband. When we’re home for the night, we try to follow an 8 P.M. “lights-out” rule, which gives my husband and me some quiet time to reconnect and enjoy each other’s company before we fall asleep.

What additional responsibilities do you have?

Since I’m a full-time wife and homeschooling mom, it comes with saying that my husband is my first priority. Whenever he needs me, I do my best to be available. Next come my children. I try to be present and involved in their lives and their friendships as well.

Outside of the home, I’m passionate about championing women, serving in girls’ homes and spending time with the young women there and investing in their lives.

How do you spend your down time?

In my downtime, I love being outdoors, going for a walk, swimming, spending time at the beach, or with my family. I also like going to the mall and grocery alone. I like doing my nails and my hair once in a while, alone too. I also enjoy working out—it helps me reset both physically and mentally. 

Lastly, I love organizing—cleaning the house, decluttering, and sorting through clothes and toys. It’s therapeutic and gives me a sense of order.

What do you do—physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually—to cope with stress of any kind?

Physically, I enjoy keeping active through cardio and strength training. I just like moving and sweating as I know this is good for me, especially with five hyperactive, kinesthetic, and athletic kids. 

Emotionally, my husband is my safe space. I genuinely love being around him. I’m also super grateful for a strong group of women in my life. Our friendships are intentional and authentic. 

Spiritually and mentally, I am a work in progress, deeply aware of how much I need God’s grace every day. I try to read the Bible daily, and it has shaped me, strengthened me, and helped me navigate through life’s different seasons, circumstances and challenges.

Do you have any special hacks or techniques to cope with stress that you rely on?

No hacks, to be honest, but I remember to have fun and pray a lot! I will not always know what to do, and it won’t always go my way, and it’s okay. 

Maegan Lopez-Lee

Flight attendant

Photo courtesy of subject

What’s a typical day at your job like?

A typical work day for me starts by waking up three hours before reporting to the office for our briefing. When I get to work, we have to arrive at the PAL Inflight Center an hour before, so we have time to greet every cabin crew on your flight. This is an unwritten rule in PAL that we all follow. It is a sign of disrespect if you don’t introduce yourself to your seniors.

Briefing time with the purser is two hours before flight departure. They check our grooming from our hair to shoes. They discuss flight details, passenger load and VIPs on board, review safety and emergency procedures, and special services.

When we board the aircraft, we check emergency equipment and cabin cleanline, and set up galleys. Then we start boarding passengers. We assist and secure the cabin, serve meals and beverages, as well as address passenger needs, and ensure safety protocols are followed throughout.

What additional responsibilities do you have outside of your job?

I am a mom of a six-year-old girl, plus two dogs. When I am not working, I am managing my household. When you’re a mom, there is always another errand to do.

How do you spend your down time?

During layovers, I usually just do the grocery, go to the gym, relax and sleep. Oftentimes, the crew gets together for dinner or drinks.

When I am home, I wake up early to get some exercise, then do my errands. If my days off fall on a weekend, I meet my family and friends. I also make sure that I spend quality time with my daughter. My husband and I also plan spontaneous trips whenever we can.

What do you do—physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually—to cope with stress of any kind?

I prioritize sleep, because I noticed that when I am well rested, I can regulate and process and regulate my emotions effectively. I can manage my negative emotions much better. Being well rested also gives me energy to go to the gym or social and play pickleball with my co-parents. 

Emotionally, I learned to set boundaries. I say no to protect my time and energy. I keep my circle small and rely more on my family. Spiritually, I reflect and pray whenever I feel overwhelmed or anxious. I try to focus on what’s going right in my life and feel grateful.

What’s the hardest part of traveling all the time, and what do you do to cope with it?

The hardest part of traveling all the time is being away from my family. We often miss birthdays, holidays, or weddings. Our life is so irregular that we don’t have a routine. Jet lag hits us hard. It really is one of the biggest physical and mental challenges of our job. 

What I normally do is I follow Manila time even on layovers. It helps me cope with jet lag better when I get back home. It also helps to keep staying hydrated. 

Do you have any special hacks or techniques to cope with stress that you rely on?

Shopping? Kidding! When I feel stressed, I normally call my best friend or my husband. If that isn’t enough, I get a massage, get active, or go to the beach if we have a chance.

Carissa Sindiong Tayag

Product manager

Photo courtesy of subject

What’s a typical day at your job like?

I work weekdays onsite, and my drive to the office can range from 30 minutes to an hour, although it can get longer on some days. Thankfully though, I consider these drives to and from work as my “me time” and I can actually get through any traffic jam as long as I can enjoy listening to my favorite music or podcast. I get to the office around 8:30 to 9:00 A.M., in time for my first meeting.

We try to end by around 6 to 6:30 P.M. and every now and then, my officemates and I try to catch a dance cardio class.

What additional responsibilities do you have outside of your job?

I’m a mom to two kids—Enzo who is 13 and Chloe who is now 10. They’re pretty independent already at their age, but my husband and I usually split up to accompany our kids to their respective activities during the weekend, then usually meet up for lunch with the rest of the family.

How do you spend your down time?

Weekends are really dedicated to family and rest. I also try to take a dance class on Saturday mornings, after which we usually meet up with my parents, sisters, and cousins for lunch. We are a family of “mallers,” so you will usually find us getting our steps and snacks at the mall or catching a movie at the cinema. Then at least once a week, my husband and I try to go on date nights. We’d usually go out to dinner or catch a show, just us two, and it helps us to reconnect and relax a bit after a hectic week.

What do you do—physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually—to cope with stress of any kind?

Aside from dance cardio classes, I also enjoy taking Pilates classes when I can. The stretching really helps release knots at the back of my neck and shoulders. Taking walks also really helps, especially if it includes a bit of retail therapy (laughs).

Finally, one other thing I realized really helps with stress is hug therapy! I hug my husband and kids like teddy bears and it really helps release a lot of the stress from the day.

Do you have any special hacks or techniques to cope with stress that you rely on?

I recently got an Ultrahuman Ring Air, and I love that I’m able to track my steps, my movement, my sleep patterns, my stress rhythm trends, and cycles.

I can see on the app how much sleep I got and even the sleep debt I’ve accumulated. I can even see the number of times I’ve tossed and turned during the night! It also reminds me to get up to walk and stretch when it sees I haven’t been moving for a while. The app even prompts me to go through breathing exercises when it detects stress levels coming up a bit.

Dealing with stress, your way

For all of these women, and all women in general, there’s no one-size-fits-all formula for dealing with stress. It’s a method you have to decide on, on your own—a solution that fits your specific life and lifestyle. It’s a never-ending battle to keep our own peace in today’s world. But we can take heart in knowing that it’s one that everybody is silently fighting alongside us.