For Bianca Gonzalez-Intal and Her Daughter Carmen, Beauty is About Self-Care—and Knowing You Are Enough

In honor of Mother’s Day, Bianca Gonzalez-Intal and her seven-year-old daughter Carmen Intal talk about beauty, wellness, and how these figure in their relationship as mother and daughter.

In every glimpse the public has gotten of TV host Bianca Gonzalez-Intal all glammed up (and since she has been on our screens since the early 2000s, there have been many), it’s a casual, effortless sense of beauty that she emanates, one that makes it very easy to believe that, yes, she just woke up like that.

But Gonzalez-Intal, a mom of two girls, shrugs off that perception with a hint of amusement, and points out the portrait that her youngest, Carmen, aged 7, has drawn of her at our shoot. “Siyempre you feel good when people compliment you when you’re glammed up,” Gonzalez-Intal concedes, before saying, “but especially when you’re a mom at home na laging ganyan”—and here, she references how Carmen sees her. “The picture she drew of me, it’s this butterfly clip [in my hair] because that’s literally how I look every day. Ganyan. I think it was this black sando also,” she says, looking down at the black tank top she is now wearing.

Many mothers will agree that there is a definite divide between how they look at home, and how they look when they step out the front door—dressed for comfort and household tasks versus looking a little bit more polished (or in Gonzalez-Intal’s case, much more glammed up) when they head out into the world. It’s one of the many little nuances that come with motherhood.

Gonzalez-Intal, for her part, shares that, growing up, she definitely wasn’t exposed to the glamour that is now required of her for work. In fact, she says, beauty and beauty rituals were not part and parcel of her childhood. However, for her young girls, what she incorporates into their daily routines—as far as beauty is concerned—is the lesson that taking care of oneself is important. “I want them to grow up having a sense that this [beauty] is part of your everyday,” she shares. “It’s not something that you only do on special days or when you go out, but even on days that you’re just at home. This is really how you take care of yourself.”

Jerick Sanchez

And so, Gonzalez-Intal, together with Carmen and her older daughter Lucia, brush their teeth together morning and night. They make a ritual of moisturizing their skin together. Her daughters watch her when she gets ready for work, and they all bike together around the village for fun and exercise. “I don’t think they understand it yet as ‘taking care of themselves,’ but I want them to have it in their system growing up, not necessarily knowing that it’s self-care or beauty, but more of like, ‘this is part of the daily routine,’” she says.

What’s being planted is an understanding of beauty that is rooted in concepts of self-care, and ultimately, self-respect—a lesson that is not only appropriate for young girls, but has also become a mission of sorts for their mother. But when the tables are turned, Gonzalez-Intal reveals that the biggest lesson she’s learned about beauty from her own children is that, even without the makeup and fancy clothes of her job, she, as a mother, is enough. “We, as mothers, we’re so beautiful in their eyes, no matter what,” she shares. “You’re the most beautiful person in the world, even when you’re not fixed up—that is a feeling I can’t describe. It makes you feel enough.”

When we ask Carmen to describe her mother—a veteran of modeling and hosting—and the beauty that she sees in her, Carmen uses her fingers to create a viewfinder and peers through them at her mom. “50-50,” she answers. “What does that mean?” Gonzalez-Intal asks. “Is that my score? Can you explain?” “50 out of 50,” Carmen clarifies simply. “Oh, that’s a perfect score then. Really? Oh, that’s so sweet,” Gonzalez-Intal smiling a small smile that mothers everywhere know in their hearts.

Jerick Sanchez

Below, mother and daughter talk to Allure Philippines about their shared beauty rituals, and how they approach beauty and wellness.

Bianca, what are some beauty rituals that have been passed down to you that you are passing down to your daughters?

BIANCA: You know, that’s so hard [to answer] because my mom is not the kikay type. I also didn’t grow up close to my lola on my dad’s side. And when I was born, my lola on my mom’s side, wala na din, so I didn’t have anyone to pass that down to me.

I do have an older sister named Aissa. She’s three years older than me and she was the typical dalagang Pilipina—long hair, very poised. She didn’t really teach me, but seeing her everyday—because we shared a room—I would see how she would be diligent about brushing her hair. She always looks neat and put together. I’m the more burara one.

Seeing her, it was like, ‘oh, baka dapat ganyan.’ She’s the type na her uniform would be maayos, her socks would be neatly folded, ganyan. I may not have absorbed it then, but now, that’s something that I try to pass on to my girls when they leave for school in the morning, being well-groomed.

I am, however, very particular sa kanila about moisturizing—lotion all over the body—but that’s something I picked up on my own. I’m very particular about brushing teeth for two minutes, wearing sunscreen especially when in the beach or when they’re going to go out to swim—super, super important to me.

Carmen, can you describe how your mom takes care of herself, how she takes care of her skin or her body? Are there things she does that you notice?

CARMEN: She always does lotion. She does sunscreen when we go to the beach. She eats healthy food. She doesn’t go much out in the sun, so she doesn’t get sunburned. That’s it.

BIANCA: At night, because we all go to bed at the same time or at least we tuck them in every night, while they’re washing up, I’m doing— (turns to Carmen) what am I doing? While you’re brushing your teeth?

CARMEN: Your skin care.

You watch your mom do that?

BIANCA: Yeah, they watch that every night and they’re like, ‘are you done yet?’

Carmen, is that something that you see yourself doing when you’re older also?

CARMEN: Maybe.

Jerick Sanchez

What are the things that you do now that your mom has taught you about taking care of yourself?

CARMEN: Lotion after, I take a bath.

How about sunscreen?

CARMEN: Yeah, well, I sort of get annoyed about that part because I want to swim in the pool.

BIANCA: Oh, we have a timer (turns to Carmen)—for what?

CARMEN: Brushing teeth.

BIANCA: Yeah. Oh, what else do you use?

CARMEN: The, like that (demonstrates cleaning her tongue)—our tongue cleaner.

BIANCA: I guess at seven, there’s not much of a beauty routine. (pauses) There’s one thing that she likes doing on her face. Every night, I like spraying my face—it’s the mist. It’s the feeling on her face. That’s just for her like to feel cool. It’s just like water.

Do you share the mist?

CARMEN: Yeah, my sister and me like it, but sometimes my sister doesn’t.

BIANCA: (to Carmen) You like it more, right?

CARMEN: Yeah.

Do you share it with mom?

BIANCA: Oh, well, that’s mine. Of course.

How about lotion? Do you share lotion?

CARMEN: Yeah, me and my sister.

BIANCA: I use baby lotion too. It smells the best. (to Carmen) Where is it important to put the lotion?

CARMEN: Body, legs, arms. And feet. Also knees.

BIANCA: I didn’t learn that growing up, so that’s why I always tell them that. I wish I knew this growing up.

Are there any other products or rituals that you share?

BIANCA: Yes. We wash up together in the morning and in the night. Oh, this is not about beauty, but (to Carmen) remember, we practice, when you feel worried or have big feelings, what do we do? We take a deep breath, right? We take deep breaths together sometimes, right?

CARMEN: Yeah.

Carmen, do you see your mom when she has makeup sometimes?

CARMEN: Yeah. Yeah. Mostly, I see her fit dresses sometimes. I take the pictures for her.

BIANCA: They help me choose. When I rent dresses for events, I fit it with them and then they help me choose. They say, ‘that’s not so nice. That’s nice.’

How about your mom’s makeup looks? Are there some things that you think she should try?

CARMEN: She’s sometimes glittery.

Do you like that?

CARMEN: It’s fine.

Are there colors that you wish she should try, for her makeup?

CARMEN: I’d say light colors.

BIANCA: Yeah, that’s true. They like the light makeup better than the dark. Sometimes I get ready here upstairs to go out, and then I dress up and put a bit of makeup. When I go downstairs, it’s the most kilig feeling because she says, ‘you look so nice.’ When she says that, I’m like, ‘oh!’ When I go out, I’m dressed, they know like, ‘oh, something’s up.’

Jerick Sanchez

Are there any beauty standards or traditions or beliefs that you are making an effort not to pass down?

BIANCA: I’m very particular about comments that we hear from people. I’m quick to, I guess, reframe that for them. For example, being in the sun out for so long. [They say] ‘we’re too dark.’ [I’ll say] ‘Oh, there’s nothing wrong with being dark.’ I always affirm, ‘oh, your brown skin is so beautiful.’

I was a peklat-in na bata. So, nadapa ako, may peklat ako, or I’d pick my scars. I think, also, that we need not be so shielded from sugat when you play outside. I guess, in our generation, girls were raised to be perfect. Even if it wasn’t worded like that, it was more of like, ‘ay, bakit puro siya peklat?’ Or, ‘ay, bakit ang itim-itim niya?’ So, now it’s more of whatever will make you live a full, fun life.

How crucial is the role that a mother plays in shaping a child’s perception of self and self-confidence, and beauty as well?

BIANCA: It’s something that I’m still learning. What a big responsibility! Lalo na now, they’re growing up in a world that’s so different from [the one] we grew up in. Ir was hard for us back then—what more now?

As much as we try to tell them things in our home, siyempre, when they go out into the world, they’re exposed to how their classmates are raised or how their classmates talk to them. Wala tayong control doon. So, I just try to keep in mind that we do what we can to affirm them, to help build their confidence. But at the same time, I’ve realized now, at the age of my girls, that they really mirror what the mother does.

And no matter how much we say something, they pick up things talaga when they see us always doing it, always doing it repeatedly. So, I try my best to be conscious of that. Now that I’m at my age, I see yung sinasabi nila na parang, your mother comes out of your mouth.

I’m also trying to be mindful in that I may not see the effects of how I’m raising them now, but it might show up later on when they’re older. It’s definitely a heavy responsibility I take very seriously.

But also, I see the value of how their father talks to them as well. It’s so affirming. I think working together to try to build that self-confidence and self-worth with them from a female point of view and then from a father’s point of view— they work together talaga.

How do you approach conversations about beauty? Are they important teaching moments to you?

BIANCA: It’s tricky because, at my kids’ age, we don’t really talk about beauty. We don’t use the word beauty at all. I think if anything, especially with Carmen, it’s more about taking care of yourself through daily routines.

With my panganay Lucia naman, it’s a bit different because she’s a tween now. They’re already showing signs of puberty, so it’s more of the changing body.

But in terms of perception of beauty, I haven’t really thought about it. Although I don’t ever think that I will approach it as shallow, because it’s such a big part of my work. They see me putting on makeup, like twice a week here at home. When they’re older, when they’re probably teenagers and more conscious about the way they look, maybe I’ll know better how I’ll be approaching it.

Siguro it has been planting seeds. We’re the type na, for example, we’re watching a Katseye music video, or the live stream of Coachella. [We say] ‘oh, her hair is nice,’ ‘oh, I like her lipstick,’ ‘oh, her eyes are so beautiful.’ I guess it’s important to me as well because [it’s] appreciating the beauty of others.

Ako kasi, I grew up an ugly duckling. I don’t think I say this as a mom—I say this objectively—that people compliment them at this age ha, na imagine, nag-form na yung face. So what we try to do nung husband ko at home is, yeah, siyempre, sometimes you compliment your daughters on how they look. But as much as possible, we try more to notice their effort in things, or that they’re strong, or that they were brave, or that they tried their best in swim. Me and my husband, we’re very conscious na when we compliment them, it’s more about traits than it is about looks. We try, we try.

Jerick Sanchez

What have your children taught you about beauty and wellness?

BIANCA: In my line of work, we get glammed up all the time. And siyempre you feel good when people compliment you when you’re glammed up. But especially when you’re a mom at home, kids don’t care. Like, they really don’t care. We, as mothers, we’re so beautiful in their eyes, no matter what—no matter if we’re stinky, walang ligo. I think it’s different from how a partner loves you in your no-makeup look—that’s also flattering. But when [it’s your] kids, you’re the most beautiful person in the world, even when you’re not fixed up—that is a feeling I can’t describe. It makes you feel enough.

In terms of wellness, wellness [to me] now is really like, I just want to be strong and healthy so that I can take care of them every day and live more years. That’s really the goal. It’s definitely a perspective shift talaga in terms of beauty and wellness when you become a mom.

Art and beauty direction by Nicole Almero. Photography by Jerick Sanchez. Makeup by Juan Sarte. Hair by JA Feliciano. Styling by Team Rain x Em.

On Bianca: Top and Skirt by Jo-rel Espina
On Carmen: Dress by Lalaro Kids by Dimple Lim