I once had a friend tell me that she hates having her photograph taken, because her hair never photographs well. Well, that’s not the case with me. I know exactly what my hair looks like—in photos and in real life. My hair has always been a touchy subject for me. In the last 10 years, I’ve spent a small fortune on treatments and products, both topical and oral. I’ve avoided the outdoors, because the wind, humidity, and unexpected rainfall makes my hair look thinner than it already is. Don’t even get me started on swimming. Or the gym. 

I’ve used serums, liquid hair growers, tonics, gummies, supplements, and I’ve gone through laser hair growers, micro-needling, and scalp therapy. I shampoo and condition using non-drugstore brands. I only color my hair as needed, and I never heat-style it. I think about my hair so much that I’ve thought about people thinking about my hair. When they see me, do they think, “Mahangin ba sa labas?” (“Is it windy outside?”) After what feels like a lifetime of trial and error and countless appointments—yet still dealing with a work in progress—here’s everything I have learned and unlearned about hair loss.

1. It’s perfectly normal to feel less like yourself.

Have you ever seen anyone in a shampoo commercial with fine, thin hair and bald spots? No.  That’s because a head full of hair has always been associated with good health and beauty. 

“Societal norms and beauty standards place a strong emphasis on women’s hair as a symbol of femininity or even attractiveness,” shares psychiatrist and behavioral specialist Ann Gelvezon, MD, MBA, who works with the Mindcare Club, Eluvo Health, and the Philippine Orthopedic Hospital. “For many women, hair loss can feel like a threat to their identity and self-image. And while men may also struggle with the psychological effects of hair loss, it’s often more socially-accepted for men to lose hair as they age. This discrepancy can make the experience of hair loss even more isolating and distressing for women.” 

Understandably, hair loss and thinning hair can affect one’s self esteem. I remember how I wanted to disappear every time someone said anything about my hair. “Hair loss can definitely have a profound impact on an individual’s mental health. Our appearance is often tied to our sense of self-worth, and when hair loss occurs, it can feel like a loss of identity or confidence,” says Dr. Gelvezon. 

“This can lead to feelings of inadequacy, social withdrawal, or even heightened self-consciousness,” she continues. “Over time, such emotional responses can develop into anxiety or even depression, especially if the individual feels isolated or their support system is not great.”

I cannot count how many times I have been told, “Ang nipis po ano? (It’s so thin, isn’t it)?” by someone cutting my hair. I always joked that I can’t lose any more hair, because I only have five strands left. But really, that was just my defense mechanism. I felt bad that people could see my scalp, but I also wanted them to know that I knew. I was completely aware of how it looked, and it was something that gave me a slight inferiority complex. 

2. More often than not, finding the root cause involves more than just one culprit.

During the pandemic, with everyone’s stress heightened, I thought—surprisingly—that I wasn’t losing a lot of hair. Later on, I realized I was mistaken. Based on the balding area on my temple, I was suffering from excessive hair fall.

“Hair loss can be due to a stressful event,” confirms board-certified dermatologist Nikki Paderna, MD, who practices at the South City Hospital and Medical Center in Cavite. “It can also be due to a medical condition, a skin infection, [an effect of] certain medications or chemotherapy, the male hormone (dihydrotestosterone), or genetics.” The last of what Dr. Paderna said rang true for me. My father had thinning hair when he passed at the age of 54. Looking at my brother and I, we also got what he had.

3. A healthy scalp is only the starting point.

When I first consulted with Dr. Paderna during the pandemic, it was actually for my seborrheic dermatitis, a skin condition that causes scaly patches, inflamed skin, and stubborn dandruff. It mainly occurs on the scalp, but it can also affect oily areas of the body, such as the face, the sides of the nose, eyebrows, ears, eyelids, and the chest.

I learned that if you have scalp problems, you need to shampoo your hair every day. It’s part of hair and scalp hygiene. “Washing your scalp regularly prevents oil build-up in your hair follicles and lessens hair fall. If you have a dry scalp, you may wash less often,” says Dr. Paderna. Dandruff itself cannot cause hair loss, but repeated scratching can cause inflammation of the hair follicles, which can cause damage or scarring.

In 2023, I paid a visit to Svenson, a hair treatment clinic in the Philippines specializing in hair loss solutions. After a comprehensive scalp scanning, I was told that I had no healthy hair growth in sight. Svenson trichologist Mylyn Lagrado advised me to start wearing sunscreen on my scalp, because there were already signs of sun damage.

Before starting me on any hair growth treatments, Lagrado recommended I go through scalp corrective treatments for over a year. The treatment starts with a shampoo, followed by an oil-based cleanser. After that, the scalp corrective solution, which claims to “unclog the scalp of deep-seated dirt, oil, and debris,” is applied. By late 2024, people started to notice that I had a fuller head of hair. I also noticed that the scrunchie I use to tie my hair with, needed only two rotations instead of the three that I’m used to.

4. Patience is a virtue that you need to embrace.

With my scalp getting healthier, I was ready for an actual hair growth treatment. I got started on NexoHair, an exosome-based treatment for hair loss. I have heard of using exosomes for the hair and the face, and I was a little skeptical. At this point, I had tried so many treatments—and not everything worked. If they did, the results were temporary. 

The exosomes that were used on me were marine-derived, specifically from salmon, and they were delivered to my scalp through microneedling. It was more uncomfortable than painful, although there was some pain in areas where my hair was more sparse. Each session takes about 45 minutes, and typically, you’ll need to do the first three sessions every two weeks. After, you can do one session every month for three months, and eventually graduate to just doing it once a year. There’s no downtime except that you’re advised to wait at least six hours before shampooing.

It took over a year of regular dermatologist visits and going to Svenson before I saw actual results. After this period of time, my scalp was examined, and finally, there was hair growth. 

But this was only the beginning. More patience is required as you wait for more hair to grow, and you still need to continue taking care of your scalp. I remember being told that I was one of those who responded well to the NexoHair exosomes-based treatment, but this isn’t the case for everyone. Sometimes, your bald spots will just have a few more strands. It’s not a miracle treatment, and how effective it is still varies per person.

5. Good hair habits will reinforce whatever benefits you might get from treatments.

A clean scalp is responsive to treatment and potential hair growth. One of the things I learned in my journey is that I needed to wash my hair every day to prevent dandruff that could result in hair loss. I also use shampoos and conditioners from hair brands like Cynos and Revlon Professional. After showers, I apply hair oil, but I don’t ever sleep with wet or damp hair, no matter how tired or sleepy I am—damp hair is a breeding ground for fungus. If I want to put my hair up, instead of a scrunchie, I reach for a hair claw. 

Looking back, my journey with hair loss wasn’t just about regrowth—it was about reclaiming my confidence on my own terms. I once believed that having fuller hair was the key to feeling whole, but I’ve learned that true confidence comes from resilience, patience, and self-care that goes beyond aesthetics.

Yes, I have more hair now than I did a year ago. But more importantly, I’ve gained something far greater: the strength to embrace change, the wisdom to care for myself in ways that truly matter, and the realization that beauty isn’t just what grows on your head—it’s how you carry yourself through the journey.

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